


my thoughts become poetry (around you)

by Imiaslavie



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, M/M, Misunderstandings, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23055532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imiaslavie/pseuds/Imiaslavie
Summary: Even a scientific curiosity has its limits.Because that’s what it is, Deceit knows. Logan is being curious about the snake traits Deceit possesses because it defies the real world’s logic, because it’s new, because it warrants study.It… hurts. Of course it fucking does. Logan seemed to like Deceit more than other Sides do. Deceit likes him more than others. Likes him in a... different way than others. And they had a nice sort of a quiet relationship, finding each other’s presence unobtrusive. Deceit loathes thinking he might lose it.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 10
Kudos: 199





	my thoughts become poetry (around you)

**Author's Note:**

> The first half was written before DWIT, so assume that Remus doesn't exist in this universe!

Deceit knows what others think of his outer appearance. 

He heard it all, the words they use to describe him and his face. Weird, creepy, even the word slimy, that by all the laws shouldn’t be negative, sounds like an accusation from their lips. And it’s… Deceit is used to this. He is more or less accepted into the group, the other Sides liking him more than just tolerating. So what if they think him hideous. Big deal.

But there’s always a line to be crossed.

And Logan has crossed it.

Or, rather, he keeps crossing it every, oh, two minutes.

Deceit and Logan both sit on the floor in Logan’s room, catching up on some reading. The main reason why Deceit is even here is because the logical side’s room is the coldest one out of all, and Deceit feels extremely hot due to Thomas trying Poker earlier this day. The game involved, of course, a lot of lying — or at least attempts to do so. It was fun even though embarrassing, and Thomas enjoyed it very much despite the fact that he would’ve lost a fortune and the fortunes of his possible heirs if only he played for real money. In any case, Deceit worked really hard during the game, earning himself a small fever, which, in turn, earned him an invitation to Logan’s room.

Everything’s been fine for about half an hour, silence comfortable between them, the sound of pages being turned soothing, the book — captivating. And then Deceit, still feeling too hot, dared to take off his capelet and shirt, leaving him in a thin sleeveless turtleneck.

That was, in retrospect, a huge mistake.

Logan keeps stealing glances at him, trying to do it as stealthily as possible. Naïve man. Deceit’s left eye may not be working as well as his right one, but his vision is still really good and his reaction time is even better. He knows about each and every time Logan’s gaze darts towards him.

He looks at Deceit for a second a two — and then returns his attention to the book. And each time he does so, a little bit of Deceit’s patience slips away. The book no longer holds his interest. A phantom sensation of itching runs over his skin, almost making him shiver. He really wants to leave, but the thought of going back to the heat of the common room glues him to the spot, makes him turn the pages with numb fingers.

A yawn creeps up Deceit’s throat. He lets it out, not bothering covering his mouth with a hand. Out of the corner of his eye (even though there’s a tear clinging to his eyelashes), he sees Logan… no, not stealing another glance. Turning away. Well. Wonderful to know he looks creepy enough when yawning to force people to literally avert their gazes. 

Even a scientific curiosity has its limits, after all.

Because that’s what it is, Deceit knows. Logan is being curious about the snake traits Deceit possesses because it defies the real world’s logic, because it’s new, because it warrants study. It’s everything Logan likes as a person of science, as a person who needs everything to make sense, who loves information. Not all the kinds of information are easy or nice to gather, though, leaving Logan catching glimpses of what interests him but unable to stifle his aversion for too long.

It… hurts. Of course it fucking does. Logan seemed to like Deceit more than other Sides do. Deceit likes him more than others. Likes him in a... different way than others. And they had a nice sort of a quiet relationship, finding each other’s presence unobtrusive. Deceit loathes thinking he might lose it.

No, screw this. Until the end of the chapter, Deceit promises himself, and then he can go. Better go and have a heat stroke and lie on the floor being all sweaty than tolerate this attitude. Logan isn’t looking at him anymore anywa—

Logan’s head snaps away when their eyes meet. Deceit can see his throat making a swallowing motion.

Screw. This.

Deceit closes the book with a force and drops it on the floor. He stands up in a jerky motion, grabs his clothes and starts towards the door. It’s whole forty feet away, the space altered to fit the long bookcases they needed to get their books earlier.

“Wah— Deceit, wait!” Logan scrambles to stand.

Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him—

“Wait, please! I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, I simply—”

Oh, for...! _“I’m not your science experiment!”_

Deceit is ashamed of how high his voice sounds, how thin, how it breaks. 

“I’m not… a freak to gawk at. I’m not your source of entertainment. Go get your kicks somewhere else.” And if Deceit breaks everything between them with these words — so be it. He might be desperate for comfort and attention and... and love. But he is not without pride.

Logan looks at him with a completely bewildered expression on his face, a one he’s never worn before, and then he looks horrified, and then he looks… He… What…

“I love poetry,” Logan says, completely out of the blue. “I love how even the simplest of the words can be woven into something melodic, gain new meanings. But... the ability to do so never came to me naturally.” He steps closer, the deep blue of his eyes gaining intensity. Deceit is too bewildered to move away. What is he even talking about? “But…” Logan takes another step closer and— gently places his hand on Deceit’s neck— “When I look at you… I want to compare the way your scales dot your skin to the most complicated equations and learn exactly how the chaos of their placement works. I want… I want to name each and every flower and berry you hair color reminds me of when the sun paints gradients into it.” Deceit doesn’t dare breathe. The capelet falls down from his trembling fingers. “Whenever I look at you, I’m reminded of my most favorite stars and galaxies. Whenever I hear you speak, I wish I knew what’s your laugh is like, what’s your whisper is like, what’s your singing is like.” Logan’s palm slides up higher, just enough so his fingertips lay on the line of Deceit’s jaw. “I almost stop being scared at the way my hands curl into fists when I have to remind myself I can’t touch you whenever I like. You being here with me, choosing my room, even if it wasn’t for the reason of sharing my company, made me incredibly honored. And I’m…” Logan lets out a long breath. “I’m sorry, so very sorry my actions made you think you were not welcome. Or, rather, were welcomed for a very different reason.”

Logan falls silent. They stare into each other eyes. Deceit breathes in a very measured way. When the thumb of his right hand feels an unfamiliar texture, he realizes that at some moment during Logan’s heartfelt speech he grabbed one of the belt loops of Logan’s pants.

His head spins. The words were so amazingly, irrevocably Logan. Free verses that won’t ever fit any poetry foot or lie smoothly on any melody, but sounded like the most beautiful set of words anyone has ever spoken.

Deceit licks his lips. “Tell me then one thing then…”

“Anything,” Logan replies in a heartbeat.

“Whenever you wonder about me… do you wonder about what it would be like to kiss me?”

Deceit didn’t think it was possible, but the blue of Logan’s eyes becomes even more iridescent at those words. His other palm comes to rest on Deceit’s jaw too, and Logan— 

Smiles. So beautifully and honest.

“Every. Goddamn. Day.”

And then he leans in for a kiss.

Deceit has been kissed before. Imagination has given him ample opportunity to have mindless fun. But nothing can compare to this kiss. How can a barely-there touch of the lips fill him with such warm fire? How come he can hear words of promises when there’s none being said? Tickles run down his neck and spine, and heat paints his ears, and both his hands hold on tightly onto Logan’s belt.

They part, a puff of Logan’s breath feeling cool on Deceit’s lips.

“You haven’t finished your book,” Logan says quietly, his thumbs drawing soft circles onto Deceit’s skin. Deceit nods, a smile playing on his lips. It’s a bit unsure but grows wider in an instant when Logan takes a step back — thus making Deceit take a step forward. “Come.”

And Deceit comes back with him, hand in hand. They sit down just like before (just maybe, maybe, a little bit closer), and take both their respective books, finding the pages they need.

And this time, whenever Deceit feels Logan look at him for a couple of swift seconds…

He smiles.


End file.
